Things that will never, or I hope never, be said to me
-?Nice Hyundai! I didn?t know they make it in orange.?
-?How long have you been taking dance lessons??
-?Did you enjoy Ice Capades??
- ?Two adult and one child ticket for the 2 o?clock showing please.?
-?Since when did you start smoking??
-?Man, that pony tail goes all the way down to your back.?
-?You can find ?Swamp Thing 2? in aisle 7.?
-?Are you going to paint a sign for the peace rally??
-?You?re going to the ?N Sync concert too!?
-?Do you want to borrow my copy of Danielle Steel?s latest book??
-?Nice tattoo, I love the way it wraps around your wrist.?
-?Great looking Speedo, I love the lime green stripes.?
-?How long did it take you to finish the Iron Man competition??
-?When did you start singing in the choir??
-?Where did you buy the Virgin Mary statue for your front lawn.?
- ?Mr. Dobrindt, please tell the class why you decided to go to beauty school.?
-?Will the defendant please rise.?
-?Can you go faster, you?re not even going the speed limit.?
- ?We elect David Dobrindt as the president of the Drew Barrymore fan club.?
-?This might hurt a little.?
-?I would never have figured you for being gay.?
Things I will never say
-?No thank you, I don?t much care for beer.?
-?Honey, can we watch ?Seventh Heaven? tonight, I am getting sick of ?Hosiers???
-?I just love changing Emily?s diaper. I can?t do it enough.?
-?I love talking to zealous, opinionated Bush-hating liberals, they are always so insightful.?
-?No, please, give it to someone else. The first class seats are much too big for me. Plus, I don?t care for eating off of china.?
-?Jeesh, it?s just not fair to the other teams the way the Yankees are spending so much on payroll.?
-?I?d like to pay for that other table?s meal, it makes me feel good.?
-?Hon, that outfit looks like crap.?
-?Cook sausage on the grill? Heaven?s no, it tastes so much better when you boil it.?
-?Hold my beer, I?m going to run on the field and see if I can touch home plate.?
-?I feel so bad for downloading music on the internet, I think I?ll send the larger music companies a couple hundred bucks.?
-?I know it?s just a rental, but I feel better putting 93 octane in it.?
-?Hmm. Good point. I really don?t have an opinion about that topic.?
-?Good Lord, there are just too many channels on TV. I fondly remember the days when an antenna on the roof produced three main channels. It was a much better time.?
-?I just love professional soccer.?
-?Quick, turn it, we seem to be getting a free porn channel.?
-?Holy Jesus, it?s hot here in the mosh pit.?
-?I can really relate to those NBA players.?
-?I think pink is my color.?
-?Now that I think about it, you?re right, the Jets really DO suck.?
-"Prison isn?t so bad.?
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