The Dobrindt Family

?We?re Number Two! We?re Number Two!? The Red Sox clinch second place

For those of you who don?t follow baseball, the Red Sox clinched a playoff spot last night by winning the wild card in the American League. To recap Major League Baseball, there are two leagues, the American League and National League, and each league has three divisions, East, Central and West. For the post season, or as some call it, the playoffs, each division has one winner. So in the American League, the East, Central and West each have a winner. In 1995, Major League Baseball started a ?wild card? winner, a team with the best record who did not win a division. The wild card can come from any division. Sometimes, the wild card winner has a better record than one of the division champions, an interesting reality of baseball.

Anyway, this year the American League division winners were as follows:

West ? Oakland because Seattle couldn?t buy a win in the last 6 weeks of the season
Central ? Minnesota because KC blew a 20-0 start and the White Sox couldn?t beat Minnesota the last two weeks of the season.
East ? Yankees of course.

So that left the wild card slot open. Well, as you can predict from the title of this entry, the Red Sox won the wild card last night after beating Baltimore. A couple of things.

- ?HOO!! HOO!! ALL ABOARD!!? That is the sound of the Red Sox bandwagon leaving the station. All fans who jumped off in May, come on back. It?s about to leave the station.

- After the game last night, one drunken Red Sox fan (do I really need to describe a Red Sox fan as drunken, it's pretty much assumed) said this ?We won thuh wild cahd race!! Now we hahv three gahmes to win the divishuhn!! We cahn dooo it!!? When told that the Yankees won the AL East earlier in the week, the fan assaulted the reporter.

- After the last out in the game, the Sox celebrated like the Syosset Science Middle School Engineering Club winning Battle Bots. Give. Me. A. Break. And T-Shirts that say Wild Card winners??? HA. You have got to be joking. I know the Sox haven?t been in the post season since 99, but let?s settle down a little. They were on the field hoopin? and hollerin?, carrying on like they just won the World Series.

- Todd Jones, an idiot of a reliever who ticked off the Boston sports media with comments he made in his Sporting News column earlier this year said this last night, "But how could I not go out there and thank them? They were with us all year. There were times they could have shot us and they didn't? Wh..?? Hu..?? They could have shot you?? They WOULD have shot you Todd, any one of you, if they were allowed to bring guns into the stadium. This is Boston. You blow one lead, and buh bye. You win one in the 9th, and they still find something wrong.

- Not sure why last night's celebration surprised me. After all, this is the same town that had a parade and celebration when Colorado won the Stanley Cup, because a fan favorite left the Bruins to play there. This is the same town that had a parade in 1986 to celebrate LOSING the World Series. Maybe they?ll have a Wild Card parade ending at Government Center.

- Following the game last night, young Red Sox General Manager Theo Epstein went against tradition in waiting until the season is over and announced the winner of the Thomas A. Yawkey Award for Red Sox team MVP, ?We?d like to present this year's team most valuable player award to the Seattle Mariners".

Try this

While sitting in a chair, move your right foot in a clockwise motion. While moving your right foot in a clockwise motion, make a six in the air with your right hand. Your right foot will changed direction.

Lessons for Women

[I couldn't miss the opportunity to post this. This is from Uncle Tim (on Patti's side, from Minnesota). Please don't blame me. I don't agree with them. Well, some of them are kind of true. Actually, most of them are on the mark.]

Lesson on Life ? from Uncle Tim

Learn to work the toilet seat. You?re a big girl. If it?s up put it down. We need it
up, you need it down. You don?t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no we are never going to think of it that way

Crying is Blackmail

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work!!
Strong hints do not work!! Just say it!!!!

Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That?s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments
become null and void after 7 days.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad
or angry, we meant the other way.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If
you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is
a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing we will act like nothing?s wrong. We
know you are lying but what can we do about that?

If you ask a question you don?t want an answer to expect an answer you don?t want to
hear.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine and you look
good. Really.

Don?t ask us what we?re thinking, unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as
baseball, football, the shotgun formation, monster trucks etc...

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

We are in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; and for you guys that receive this and present this to
your spouse, you may have to sleep on the couch, but did you know men really don?t mind that; it?s like camping.

Goodbye old friend, I'll miss you

Goodbye old friend, I?ll miss you. The obituary below is in memory of a companion that has been with me for over a year, a Bic pen.

Bic pen was lost late Thursday night somewhere between Conference Room 1 and cube number 414 in the old Lotus Development Building, 55 Cambridge Parkway. The pen, a classic ballpoint black ink office stationary standard, will be remembered as loyal, trustworthy and reliable. The pen accompanied David Dobrindt for the past 12 months on trips to Springfield, NY City, Philadelphia and most recently Lincroft, New Jersey. Bic pen was there when Mr. Dobrindt, a new homeowner and management consultant for IBM, signed the contract on his house. It was also involved in countless credit card transactions, executive interview notes, schematic drawings for home improvement projects and TO-DO lists. Bic was a throwback to the days when a pen was a constant reminder of who a person was, and not something to pick up from someone else's desk only to be discarded without a second thought. This particular Bic wrote flawlessly, never spotted or smudged, ended in a sharp point and had a crisp, clean and neat writing style on any standard notebook or printer paper.

Bic pen was erroneously left unattended on Dobrindt's desk when he left for the night on Thursday, September 11. David realized the mistake on the subway ride home when he wanted to jot down the name of a song he heard so he could download it later. Calls to the office to ask someone to put the pen in his desk went unanswered. A Friday morning search of his desk and Conference Room 1 failed to locate Bic pen.

Bic pen leaves behind an Altria promotional pen, a Waterman France pen and a yellow Sanford highlighter. Mr. Dobrindt had this to say "I hope the SOB who took it off of my freakin' desk uses it to sign a speeding ticket or something. I mean come on! The jerk also left an empty water bottle on my desk. At least put it in the trash, and leave my s**t alone".

Snippet - A story

??there was a guy I used to spar with at the Carpetti Boxing Club in south Detroit back in the early 70s. I can?t remember his name. Something like Quinn or Kim. I moved to Pittsburgh to take a sheet metal job, a union job, good pay, and I never spoke to him again. I heard, years later, that he was sentenced to life in prison for killing a guy...?

Women's Energy Bar

The other day I was eating an energy bar I didn?t know was designed specifically for women. In fact, it said ?Designed for Women? or something like that on it.

As I was eating it a woman I work with saw me and this exchange ensued.

<b><u>Woman</u></b>: Hey, I love those. Did you know they?re designed for women?

<u><b>Me</b></u>: <looking at the wrapper> No, I didn?t realize. It?s good. What makes it just for women?

<u><b>Woman</b></u>: It contains stuff that women need.

<u><b>Me</b></u>: Like what? Common sense.

What she said next was not very lady-like.