There are a couple of ways to accurately describe my profession. For those who do not know me, I am a management consultant. Some of those descriptions are
- Late nights
- Early mornings
- Aisle seats and 3rd in line to take off
- Fatty foods and nice restaurants
- Coffee, vending machines and alcohol. Lots of alcohol
- Stress
But in the bizzaro world I live in, I think of things in terms of songs and movie quotes. Not sure what song would best describe my job, but two movie quotes come to mind (with words I changed in <i>italics</i>).
1 - I have more responsibility here than you could possibly fathom. You weep for your <i>invoices</i>, and you curse the <i>consultants</i>. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That those <i>invoices</i>, while tragic, probably saved lives. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. I know deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you don't want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent <i>consulting</i>. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of <i>professional services </i>I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it. I prefer you said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a <i>plane ticket</i>, and stand to post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
2 - This was a great man -- a man of vision and guts. And there isn't even a PLAQUE, or a SIGNPOST, or a STATUE of him in that town. Someone <i>threw him under the bus</i>. No one knows who gave the order. When I heard it, I wasn't angry. I knew him; I knew he was headstrong -- talking loud, saying stupid things. So when he was <i>thrown under the bus </i>-- I let it go. And I said to myself, this is the business we've chosen! I didn't ask who gave the order, BECAUSE IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH BUSINESS!!
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