Presidential Debate # 1

Presidential Debate number 1
Thursday, September 30, 2004

<u>8:39 PM</u>: 21 minutes to show time. The anticipation is killing me. In about 20 minutes I am going to watch a stuttering near illiterate bully run forensic hurdles against an indecisive pedantic bore. I thought I?d watch some pre-game shows, like the Civic Super Bowl this thing is, but was surprised to fine news about war, Martha Stewart and dogs being throwing out of moving cars. Oh sure, there were some things on the new rules and if I see Richard Nixon?s sweating unshaven head and gray suite one more time I might decide to watch Clifford cartoons on On-Demand to make my night even more painful, but overall things are pretty quiet. But then again, I am watching Survivor and only turn to the news channels on commercials so who knows.

<u>8:52 PM</u>: Getting a beer so I don?t have to move. This is going to be a good debate. Plus the female redneck on Survivor is about as much fun to watch as a doctor giving my infant son a shot so a beer is a fit right now.

<u>9:05</u>: Yeah Lehrer, you tell them the business. Do not take any crap from these two suits.

<u>9:06</u>: Give it up Kerry, your insincere well wishing and ass-kissing is not going to win you points.

<u>9:09</u>: Vociferously? Someone has been using his presidential thesaurus.

<u>9:11</u>: Where do you want me to begin? Let?s start by wiping that smug look off your oddly shaped face.

<u>9:16</u>: Hey boys, Saddam Hussein is the one with the bushy mustache in jail. Osama Bin Laden is the tall one who was responsible for Sept.11. Let?s try to get them right.

<u>9:25</u>: You?re struggling Bush, you?re struggling. You?re starting to look like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee.

<u>9:27</u>: Stop with the ?Help is on the way? nonsense. We heard that enough during the DNC.

<u>9:52</u>: Sorry, I passed out. I am back though.

<u>9:58</u>: I kind of like Bush?s sarcasm. Wish he would drop some F bombs now and again.

<u>10:01</u>: One thing I wanted to mention was that I think we should outsource our trial and judgment system to Yemen.

<u>10:06:</u> Now now President Bush, making faces is against the rules. Oh, sorry, that is your normal face. My mistake.

<u>10:07</u>: Hey Kerry, why the long face?? Thank you, I am here all week. Try the veal. Tip your waitress.

<u>10:08</u>: Hey Lehrer, don?t push your agenda at this debate. YOU are not running for president.

<u>10:10</u>: YEAH BUSH. You mentioned my homeland, Liberia. YEAH. YOU GO!!

<u>10:12</u>: What in the world could they be writing down? Seriously. What are they writing? Notes?

<u>10:14</u>: The Yankees win, Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Yankees Win. Thanks Unc for pinging me with the score. Another AL East title.

<u>10:16</u>: I just realized that ALL of the discussion has been about war and terrorism. Then I realized this debate is about foreign policy.

<u>10:19</u>: At my next meeting when there are conflicting opinions, I am going to say ?30 seconds Mr. Jones?, then cut him off 5 seconds into it.

<u>10:24</u>: What do you expect from Putin, he used to be a high ranking KGB officer.

<u>10:25</u>: Bush is done with this nonsense. He is tired of using long words and reciting what his speech writers wrote for him. He?s starting to act like me during church was I was 7.

<u>10:29</u>: My wife said this ?I know he rehearsed his closing statement but he always sounds like he is making things up as he goes along. He sounds like he doesn?t know what he is going to say next?.

<u>10:30</u>: Right ON TIME Lehrer! Good job. Shake hands. Kiss the wife. Wave. Frat brothers? Didn?t know.

Overall the format worked well. No embarrassing exchanges. No broken noses. Not sure who won because I kind of had trouble focusing, but I?m sure the left will say the right won, and the right will say the left won. This is David Dobrindt from Milton signing off, Goodnight and God Bless.