Passenger Bill of Rights
I was listening to NPR this morning on my way to the airport, and I caught the end of a piece about airline passenger bill of rights. The commentator was jokingly bringing up his own list just for business travelers, like seats should not recline and the airline should call your boss if your flight is delayed and you get home at 3 in the morning.
Here is my own list.
Of course, this comes after basics that most airlines list, like being courteous to passengers, giving priority to disables passengers, being honest about ticket prices and restrictions, right to get off the plane if delays are long, given a refund for cancelled flights and the right to get paid for lost luggage . Mine are most specific.
1. If someone is not sitting within 3 rows of their bag, it goes in the hold.
I drive me nuts to get...
1. If someone is not sitting within 3 rows of their bag, it goes in the hold.
I drive me nuts to get on and all the overhead spaces are taken by people who are sitting nowhere near their seats. This sounds conceited, but if I am in first class and someone who is way in the back of the plane puts there bags there in case the overhead compartments are taken back there, well, it should not be allowed. I would even suggest that each seat has a designated overhead spot and only a bag from your seat can go there unless you don’t need it.
2. If you push ahead and leave before the row in front of you, death.
There is a certain unwritten etiquette about traveling. One is that people deplane row by row. Every now and then I get someone who never flies, or who has never flown, and they push ahead while others are getting their stuff together. They are probably the same people who cut into long turn lanes to avoid waiting, but on a plane it is very visible. The one exception to this rule is if a passenger has a tight connection and the flight attendant asks people to wait in their seats.
3. Priority for getting of the plane should be the same for getting on the plane.
If the airlines board based on how often you fly, the price of your ticket and if you have little kids in your group, then why not getting off. There should be a queue to get off based on your status for getting on. Why not? It might cause a mess and actually take longer to get everyone off, but it works for me.
4. Seats in front should not recline.
I hate, HATE, when someone in front reclines. I know they have every right to do so, but it starts a chain reaction where nobody benefits. I am not a small person, and I have trouble doing anything other than reading a paperback book when the seat is reclined.
5. If the flight is going to be delayed, the airline MUST let you know.
Every airline should be required to install a system that allows the passenger to input a phone number or email account and receive a message if their flight is delayed. Most airlines allow you to do this now, but it should be easier to sign up, and offered when you book.
6. If the flight is cancelled, you get a special number to call to rebook.
We have all seen this. Bad weather, mechanical problems, whatever, a flight is suddenly cancelled and you have hundreds of people calling what is already a strapped public 800 number. When your flight is cancelled, the airline should give you a special number where you don’t have to wait on hold for 40 minutes – yes, I am talking about you US Air – to rebook.
7. If the flight is in air, and is going to be delayed, you can use your cell phone.
Your own cell phone or a free phone provided by the airline. I know the airlines don’t have anything to do with ATC delays or weather problems, but they could offer this up to passengers. Not sure if technically it would work with cell phones, but let’s give it whirl.
8. Loosen restrictions on rebooking your flight.
If I paid 500 dollars a ticket to fly my wife and I out to Park City Utah on United, and we want to come back earlier in the day, and there are open seats on a flight, why should we pay a 150 dollar change fee plus the difference in air fare. And this is because we were not allowed to go standby. Why should I have to pay for that. Its crazy. Just crazy.
9. At security, If you know you have a ton of crap to take out of your bag, out of your pockets and clothing that has to come off, and there is a guy behind you with just one briefcase and his laptop is in his hand, shoes already off, LET HIM GO FIRST.
This is a security and airport thing, but let me vent. I am swift, really swift, when it comes through security. I often travel with juts a briefcase and nothing else. Even when I have an overnight bag, I am ready to go through security way before I get there. But, and this always happens, there is some idiot who has been living under a rock for 10 years and has no idea you can’t take metal through the screening, you have to take your shoes off, you have to have your crap in a ziplock bag, sometimes your belt has to come off, etc. So while they raced to get in front of me for some prize they will earn in heaven, I have to stand there with my laptop in hand, my shoes already off, my sports coat already in a bin, and wait for them to go through their freakin process to get all of their crap out. Ugh.
10. You get a number to board the plane by zone of course.
Here is the deal with this one. I often get to the airport early. So I wait and wait, read the paper, make some calls, do some work, and then stand there getting ready to board by zone. Then all of a sudden someone walks up right as they are about to call for boarding and cuts in front of my because the line was not defined like in kindergarten, and off we go, him then me. Its annoying. You should get a number like at a deli counter so that you can board based on when you get to the airport. Is that too much to ask for?
11. Plugs on airplanes.
Simple. Amtrak has plugs for laptops. Airlines, all airlines, should have the same. I know they have power on the planes because there are lights and an intercom, so extend it to me for my laptop.
12. Offer up reduced ticket prices for middle seats.
No one likes sitting in middle seats. So when you book, the airline should offer up 3% discount for those seats. Someone will take the discount, trust me, and leave the aisle seats to those hefty passengers like me or some dreamer who likes to stare at the clouds all day.
13. Consistent messages from the pilots.
Some pilots are great, they get on their little speakers and update the passengers on what’s going on. Some even have a sense of humor. But others, and I think they are in the majority, get on once, mumble something about flight time and thanks for flying us, and then nothing until the flight is over. I know its hard to institute a consistent procedure for pilots to talk to the passengers, but a better attempt could be made.
14. Ability to listen to air traffic controllers.
I was on a flight once a long time ago and could listen to the air traffic controllers and the pilots. It was really cool. This should be standard. There might be a security risk, so this needs more research.
15. There is a restriction on the type of food to bring on a plane.
Since airlines don’t give out anything anymore, more passenger are bringing food on. There has to be a restriction on smelly food. Or greasy food. I sat next to this slob once who had fried, greasy smelling food and I thought I was going to throw up.
16. Too much perfume or after shave, you sit in the toilet.
For the ladies who like perfume or the guys who need to drown in cologne, keep it down. We are all in a small metal tube with recirculated air and no ability to open a window. I enjoy a nice smell as much as the next guy, but lighten up.
17. If someone uses airline language who is NOT IN THE BUSINESS, we get to make fun of you.
I come across some nitwit who tries to strike up a conversation with the pilot or flight attendant by using airline jargon. When someone who has spent their life in the business, like for example my father, uses it, it sounds natural and free flowing. Using words like aircraft type or bird are fine, but leave out galley, as in “can I throw this in the galley”. Also, don’t call the flight attendants stewardesses.
18. Flight attendants who are having a bad day must stay at the airport.
For the most part, flight attendants are nice. But too often they are mean and nasty, and for no reason. Passengers should not get angry with flight attendants, but the FAs should try to remain civil. Look, we are all trying to get from point A to point B in a cramped unnatural method of travel, and if you are having a bad day, take it out on your spouse, not the people who pay to keep your company in business.
19. Male passengers must help female passengers.
If I see a guy standing there while a female passenger struggles to get her bag up or down from the overhead, I am going to punch him. I don’t care about women’s lib or offending some NOW militant feminist, help the lady with her bag.
20. Open seating, you must give up your seat when appropriate.
I travel on the Delta Shuttle almost weekly, often two or three times a week. There are no seat assignments so you stand in line and board when they open the door. Since I am usually the first in line, I get one of the first seats on the cabin. So if, after most people have boarded, airport workers are helping some old guy hobble on the plane or someone comes on a wheelchair, I get up out of my seat, offer it up, and find some other seat. One time the women behind me quickly moved her stuff so I could sit next to her, and she said she thought it was nice. But too often I see guys tilt their heads up from a newspaper, glance at the person shuffling on the plane, and ignore them. Drives me nuts.
21. Finally, be nice to the ticket counter staff and gate agents.
Like office building security and executive admins, these people can make your experience a world better. As long as they are not being a-holes, be extra nice to them, make a joke, pay a compliment, stay cool when things don’t go right, and try to get them to remember your name. I know all of the gate agents at the Delta Shuttle in NY and not because I fly a lot, but because I am nice and talk to them.
So there it is, my bill of rights. Funny enough, there are some things about traveling that never bothered me. Other people complain about having to wait to get off the plane if, for example, there is another airplane at the gate. Or bumpy flights, which are not the fault of the airline, or even the pilot although they will fly to a new altitude of it gets bad. I don’t even mind the prices of tickets since we all know the airlines are not making a ton of money. I guess it’s the little things that bug me about flying and while I don’t usually complain to anyone during the flight, I am good about writing it in this silly blog.
That's the David I know and love, always complaining about something.
Jay
Posted by: Jason | July 19, 2007 at 12:37 PM