The Marauding Squirrels

A couple of weeks ago Patti called me during the day and said

“Someone broke into the house and ate a loaf of sour dough bread.”

Ready to get a gun to protect my family and our bread, she explained that while she was out, a squirrel broke through the screen in the kitchen window, jumped on to the counter, ripped open a loaf of bread, ran around the first floor leaving squirrel s**t everywhere, then broke through the screen in a different window to get out. She cleaned the place and called a friend of ours who works for the animal shelter. Apparently this time of year the mother squirrels force their young to get food on their own. Being teenage squirrels, they look for the path of least resistance and raid garbage cans, steal food left out from barbeques and in our case, break into homes.

We had recently started to leave our two cats in the basement when we are not home so I am kind of glad because I have no idea what two cats and a squirrel would have looked liked after a fight. Knowing our two cats, the squirrel would have walked away the victor.

The next day when I got home, I got some supplies from the wonderful Curry Hardware in Quincy and replaced the screens. Patti had cleaned and scrubbed the first floor and replaced the bread. The next question was what to do about the squirrels. I was told to leave moth balls around the window to keep them away. Bad idea. It turns out the noxious mothball smell will make humans living in the house just as turned-off as the scavengers those humans are trying to keep away. So I placed the mothballs in strategic entry points to the roof of our three season porch that the squirrels use to get into our house.

Well, we had another attack today. There was a hole in the kitchen window screen but it turns out a bottle of Advil left on the window sill fell when the little bastard tried to get in and scared him away. Maybe her away. Or, and I like to believe this version more, the cats in the basement sent a message that if the squirrel came into the house, he would get a beating he would never forget.

I need to replace the screen in the kitchen and figure out how to keep those squirrels away for good. I think a pellet gun is in my future.

Comments

[Jason]

Let the cats out of the basement. The squirrls will see the cats and not come in the house. Commonsence would tell you that squirrels are afraid of cats and dogs BB guns.

Jay