The Dobrindt Family

Delta's Call Center

Oh for Christ’s sake, Delta, get it right. Your call center system is terrible. I have been traveling on the Delta Shuttle twice a week since June. Other than an occasional flight attendant that hates people, or at least Shuttle passengers, I love it. What I hate is your phone system. Because I travel so much and things always change, I probably call your Silver medallion 800 number 2 or 3 times a week. The number is 1-800-325-6330. I call it directly. When I finally get past the automated voice (I’m sorry, I didn’t get that, let me connect you to a person), the following happens. And trust me, it doesn’t happen every now and then, it doesn’t happen 50 or 90% of the time, it happens every…single…effing…time…I…call.

Some global resource person sitting in a run down office building on the coast of India answers. They are pleasant enough and I usually have to speak a little slower than I normally would or I will have to repeat myself.

Me: Hello. I am on the 5:30 shuttle from NY to Boston and would like to change it to 6:30.

Phone person than asks me for my confirmation number, ticket number, whatever after they repeat back my question.

Now, here is where the problem starts. For some reason I do not get to the Silver line. So I have to give the call center person all of my information and explain, slowly and in detail, my issue. After doing that, they realize I am a Silver medallion and tell me they have to transfer me to the Silver medallion desk. And guess what? When I get to the Silver medallion desk, I have to give all of my information again. My skymiles number, my ticket number, an explanation of my problem. It’s like a horrible version of Ground Hog’s Day.

One time I even confirmed the number. I said “What is the Silver number so I can dial it directly. I just dialed 800-325-6330. What is the number I should dial” and the response was “Please call 1-800-325-6330 next time.” Huh? What?? Why do you mock me?? Why not LISTEN to what I just told you. I DO dial that number directly, it’s on my one-touch call feature on my cell phone. Trust me. I dial it directly. How the (expletive deleted) do I get to the Silver line directly if I am ALREADY dialing the stupid number. I DO DIAL IT DIRECTLY…you bad bad person.

So anyway, for a while I just asked the person if they could take care of it without transferring me. They follow the rules and do not help me. So to take care of the Silver folks, they transfer, where I have to wait on hold, then go through the entire thing again. So I decided to just say, before anything is done, to just transfer me. I tell them that I know they are going to transfer me anyway, so please just do it so I only have to go through the experience once and save me the rectal exam. But do they? That’s right, no they don’t. They follow their operating procedure, which I cannot fault them for, and they force me to give them all of the information, usually a couple of times because of the language barrier, before they tell me they have to transfer me. And it’s kind of weird because it’s like they don’t remember me telling them to transfer me anyway. They never say sorry, or I was right, they simply thank me for calling or offer help with a rental car or hotel. Which is another thing. I might be an anomaly, but when I call Delta, it is usually about air travel. And airplane tickets. I will not suddenly realize I need help with a rental car or hotel. Delta is not a travel agent, so stick to your core competency. Why not offer roofing or aluminum siding?

So like I was saying, I try to just explain that they should transfer me. One time I called three times in one hour because I would give my information, and they would transfer me, and then I was on hold for at least 5 minutes. When on a cell phone, with a maximum amount of minutes per months before you start paying 15 bucks a second, 5 minutes on hold is forever.

Look, Delta has other things to worry about, I know that. Bankruptcy, funding their pension plan, high fuel costs, grumpy flight attendants. But I have to call at least 2 or 3 times a week and I go through this every single time. It’s annoying. Maybe I am doing something wrong and need to enter a magical combination of key strokes to actually get to the Silver desk, or maybe everyone goes through this and it’s their way of having fun. Who knows? It just bugs me.

Amtrak

I am sitting on an Acela train traveling back to Boston from New York. They predicted really bad weather in the northeast and the flights were starting to get backed up.

This is my first time on the Acela, Amtrak’s high speed train. My first impression after sitting on it for a while is that for a high speed train it’s not very high speed. We’re strolling along like it’s a Grand Canyon site seeing tour. I was imaging streaming through the countryside like a fighter pilot in a freakin metal bullet. I had an image of zipping past old barns and warehouses so fast you could only make out the color of the building. I’ve taken the regular Amtrak train enough to realize that we are not going any faster than that. It’s pretty…unimpressive.

I will admit I like the seats. They seem more comfortable and spacious than the regular trains. And I saw a pretty cool thing by Amtrak. Sitting in the row in front of me was a guy who got on the wrong train. Instead of going to Boston he was suppose to go to Philadelphia. When the conductor took his ticket they both realized the mistake. So the conductor, an older woman, walked away for a bit and came back and said they would stop at the next available stop, Stamford, which is not a normal stop, so this guy could get off and head back to NY to catch a train to Philadelphia. The stop only had a minor impact on the train schedule and made a huge difference for this poor guy. Nice move on Amtrak’s part since it was not their fault. They get a gold star.

I might get up in a little bit and explore the café car. I heard a guy who I think is a frequent customer of this route say “Do you want today’s coffee or yesterday’s?” while walking from the car “Today’s will cost you extra” he finished as he sat down next to his friend. I love the Delta Shuttle but the travelers are grumpy, in a rush and keep to themselves. The mood on the train seems much more relaxed and jovial. And I love that I have space, a plug for my laptop, I can talk on my cell phone and I didn’t have to go through the normal security hassles. But, and this is the HUGE reason why I don’t take the train, it is almost 4 hours to get from Penn to South Station and the Delta Shuttle is 40 minutes wheels up. I can leave the client location in NYC at 4:15, get on the 5:30 Shuttle, and walk in my door at 7:30 or earlier. With the train, it is much easier to get to Amtrak but if the train leaves at 5, I get to South Station at 8:45, and then have to get home which could take another 30-60 minutes. Flying is just quicker than the train.

Thought I’d share.

Dial up at the NY Hilton which I now hate

I am using dial up right now at the NY Hilton on 6th and 54th. You want to know why? Because this hotel treats me like DIRT. I swear that I was treated better before I was Diamond Hilton Honors level. I used to get coupons for free takeout breakfast, now I don't even though lower levels of Hilton Honors get them. I used to get a room on a high floor, now I don't. I used to get rooms with small comforts like, I don't know, shampoo and soap, now I don't. I used to get a free bottle of water in my room, now I don't. My freakin rooms used to have internet access that actually worked, now I get to use dial up after trying to connect for two hours and spending almost all of that time on the phone with technical support. The (expletive deleted) TV used to work and now I have to get up and turn it off manually, the phone on the desk used to work and when my room smelled like smoke and I asked for a new one they USED TO OBLIGE. Oh, they set up a special desk in the lobby for Diamond level guests so that I can get treated more rudely then the regular check in, hell, the computer kiosks have more of a personality. In fact, I should use the kiosks from now on because at least I won’t walk away feeling like I bothered someone. I hate this hotel and I curse the Hilton name, except for Paris Hilton who is strange.

Sorry, I needed to vent. At least my room is not covered in large spiders and there are no snakes under my bed, I think. Plus, the bed is comfortable.

Little Bottle of Shampoo

The little bottle of shampoo the hotel gives you may look like exactly like the little bottle of mouthwash they give you, but it most certainly doesn’t taste the same, especially at 6 in the morning when you are just waking up.

Thought I’d share.

NY Hilton - Latest

Things with the NY Hilton have been pretty good the last month or two. Not so much because the actual hotel has changed, but I have been working with two specific people, one at the hotel, one part of their 800 number, who have been extraordinary. I am now a Diamond Hilton Honors level, which is the highest level, I think, you can be. One of the benefits according to their website is that I am guaranteed a room if I call 48 hours in advance. I am at the hotel this week and realized I needed to extend my stay until Friday, so I called last night to change my check out date from Thursday to Friday, which is more than 48 hours in advance.

Me: (over the phone with a hotel person) Hi, I am scheduled to check out on Thursday but would like to extend to Friday.

Hotel Person: Please hold

(I hold the phone for 5 minutes while waiting, then put it down on speaker phone for another 5)

Hotel Person: I’m sorry but we are sold out Thursday night, we cannot extend your stay.

Me: (confidently, knowing I have the Diamond in my back pocket, a little surprised they didn’t know that with their magical computer that identifies what room is calling) Hmm…but I am a diamond level, I thought I was guaranteed a room if I book far enough in advance.

Hotel Person: That doesn’t apply when the hotel is sold out.

Me: (waiting for her to laugh, thinking she was joking…still waiting…silence…dawns on my she is not joking) Huh? A guaranteed room only applies if the hotel has availability?

Hotel Person: Yes sir.

Me: (losing a tiny bit of patience, but know that her statement is as far off as me jumping up in a business meeting and demanding a silver goblet of goat blood) That makes no sense. If the hotel is not sold out, why do I need a guaranty?

Hotel Person: The Diamond Level desk will be open tomorrow morning, could you call back then?

Me: Sure (I whisper as I hang up the phone) Dance jester, dance.

New York Hilton

Song, Delta’s low fare carrier, is not longer the target of my ire. I am not traveling to the city that Song flies to and I take the wonderful Delta Shuttle to my new location, New York City. The new target of my complaining is going to be the New York Hilton.

I have been staying at this hotel every week for the past 6 weeks. Every…single…time…I check in they treat me like it was my first time in NY and the first time in their hotel. Here is how the exchange usually goes.

I wait in the Hilton Honors check-in line forEVER while the non Honors line moves like the conga at my friend Ray’s wedding. When I finally get called up, I shake the dust of my suitcase and wipe the cobwebs that have formed around my neck.

Me: Hi, checking in for the week.

I hand over my ID and credit card.

Clerk: (in a monotone and disingenuous voice) Hello Mr. (terrible pronunciation of my name), welcome to the NY Hilton, we are glad to have you.

Me: (mutter under my breath) No you’re not, stop lying you lying liar. You hate me.

Me: Thanks, I have two questions when you’re ready.

Clerk: (with no expression at all other than utter discontent that I am bothering him/her). Go ahead.

Me: Can I have a room on a high floor and is there any way I can have access to the concierge room.

Clerk: (doesn’t even think for a split second, response is faster than my buddy Jay reaching for a free beer). You are not a diamond level and have not purchased this option and our policy states...blah blah blah. (clerk launches into a long scripted response about policy and they cannot do this and there is no way that I am getting this).

Clerk: Let me see about the high floor…kind of tight today…not looking good…really full…highest I can do is 8…we are so freakin busy my eyes are going to pop…holy mother of God there is no way we can do high floor…you stupid ugly goat-kissing jerk how can you ask for a high floor…OUT of here right now and sleep on the street...asking for a high floor…who the (expletive deleted) do you think you are…Paris Hilton or something…high floor…jerk.

Ok, that last one was made up. I usually get a polite answer for my options. Never an issue with the floor.

Clerk hands me my key.

Clerk: Elevators are around the lobby to the left.

Me: I have been here six weeks in a row, I know where they are.

Clerk: Hope you enjoy your stay.

Me: Shut up! No you don’t. You hope I DON’T enjoy my stay. I will get to my room and it will smell like smoke and the bathroom will smell like elephant dung was recently hidden in there. Then I will find out that there is no wired broadband connection and the wireless in that room is spotty. Then I will get either a flat panel plasma that takes 3 seconds for each channel to materialize or a regular TV with dead batteries in the remote. And oh yeah the bathroom will not have shampoo or there will be dirty cue tips on the floor and the air conditioner will be loud I know it because there is SOMETHING wrong every single time I am here and when I try to remedy it things only get worse. Then I will be charged for a mini-bar item even though I told them to keep the key and there will be an extra charge for the internet use how can I be charged three times in a 24 hour period after the stupid thing DIDN’T EVEN WORK!!! Then the clerk will tell me she will take care of it but the computers are down and that is a ruse to get me to leave and she will not do anything and I will not realize it until I do my expenses three weeks later WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO I pay what you ask for your tiny run down rooms. And in the off chance I leave something in the room after I check out like I recently did with my iPod Shuffle I can kiss that goodbye and what will you say to me? Nothing. Not an apology for not being able to retrieve my item. Not a sorry that it disappeared somehow. Nothing after I have to leave 4 messages to NOT get a return call from lost and found and have to go through security and not have one…single…call…back…from anyone. And what will I do to reward the Hilton chain which is a laughing stock because of a silly media whore named Paris? I’ll book 3 nights a week for the next 2 months. All because I have committed to building my Hilton points. That one single dumb reason is why I will come back week after week and endure your torment.

Clerk: Have a free breakfast coupon.

Goodbye iPod Shuffle

I freakin left my iPod Shuffle in at the New York Hilton hotel when I checked out this morning. AAAAHHHHHHHHH. CRAP!!! I went for a run last night and hung the iPod, which was in a waterproof case that hangs around your neck, and hung it up on a hook in the closet to dry out…PLUS a new set of running earphones, PLUS a hat, all in the closet. And I LEFT IT THERE. AAAHHHHHHHHH. Of course I called the hotel and of course no one turned it in. Now, I am not saying the housekeeping staff is less than ethical, but they didn’t turn it in. To their credit, they could have missed it and the person who checked into the room after me could have found it and taken it. True. But a couple of years ago when I left my Palm Pilot in a Hertz car in Philadelphia, it was gone forever. So someone, somewhere, possibly a child or nephew of a low-paid chambermaid, is listening to a punk version of 99 Red Balloons. AAAAAHHHHHHGGGGRRRUUUPPP I hate that I left it there and it is gone. DAMN IT. And I can’t yell at anyone, other than the staff who didn’t take it at the New York Hilton. Oh well, at least it wasn’t the more expensive version of the iPod.

Another Delta Shuttle Story

I can’t say enough about the Delta Shuttle. Here is my latest story.

Thursday evening is the business period of the week for the New York to Boston leg of the Delta Shuttle. The 5:30PM flight is tough to get on as is the 6:30 and so on. I have been in NY for the past 4 weeks and head home Thursday night. I usually book my flight early enough so I get on the 5 or 6:30 flights but this week due to a strange situation I had to cancel my 5:30 and couldn’t get another flight until 7:30.

This afternoon I decided to take a car at 4:40 and head to LaGuardia and see if I could make an earlier flight. It was a very long week and I wanted to try to get home. I got to the airport a little after 5 and had this exchange with the Delta ticket agent.

Me: Hi, I am on the 7:30 shuttle to Boston but was hoping to go stand-by on the 5:30.

I handed her my driver’s license, she dropped it.

Ticket Agent: My hands are so slippery today.

Me: It’s a sign of intelligence.

TA: Heh. I’ll put you on standby, it doesn’t look good though.

Me: Thanks, wish me luck.

TA: I’ll keep my slippery fingers crossed.

I got to the gate and it was the usual pandemonium. They had already boarded the ticketed passengers and there was a huge crowd of well dressed adults standing in a large roughly formed semi-circle around the gate. People were telling each other war stories

Passenger: I am on the 7:30 and am going to be here for this flight and the next (6:30, they leave every hour on the half hour) trying to get to Boston.

Passenger: I am on the 8:30.

Passenger: Since Accela went down all the flights are full.

Passenger: I did this two weeks in a row, I’ll never get out.

So I looked at the board and there were 63, Sixty three, standby passengers. On the board it says how many seats there are, how many have checked in, and how many are open. The board said this

Available Seats: 120
Checked In: 114
Seats Remaining: 6

I then looked at the list of standby passengers, expecting to see my somewhere in the 50s, but had to keep looking. I looked and looked and there I was, at number 6. NUMBER 6. How the (expletive deleted) did that happen?? I had just checked in. I guess I am starting to get some exposure in the Delta Medallion system.

So I called Patti and started talking to her. I thought there was no way I would make even though I had a good standing. As I was talking to her, mapping out my plan for getting home at 9:30 or so, I saw other passengers come up with legitimate tickets and board the plane. No freakin way I would make it.

After a few minutes, about 10 minutes before the flight was suppose to take off, I looked at the board and noticed there was 1 unclaimed seat. I then looked at the standby list and saw that I, DOB/D, was number ONE, numero UNO, on the list. Vote for Pedro I was close.

About one second later I heard the gate agent called out the two sweet sweet words I was looking for…”David Dobrindt”. Stunned, I looked up and half expected to hear he say someone else’s name.

I walked past the mass of suits and dress slacks standing there and said in a meek voice “Did you call my name?”

Sweet Mother of Mercy, they did.

I quickly hung up with Patti, handed them my ticket, and let them scan me through, and walked down the gangway.

How did I get this lucky. This doesnot happen to me. Ever.

You have no idea how happy I was at that point. I would get home to put my daughter to bed. I would get to watch the full Yankees/Red Sox game. This was unreal. I quickly told the gate agent that they just made my week and walked to the flight attendant checking carry-on bags. I always have a carry-on but as you can imagine all the over head compartments were full. I was so freakin happy at that point that I filled out my own slip and put it on my bag. After all, why not speed things up a little, I was the last person on the plane.

I then had a quick pleasantry with the flight attendant on the plane and looked for the open seat. Usually I hate middle seats but at this point I could have cared less if I sat between a sore infested crack addict and a decomposing corpse. I was on the plane heading home. Now that I think about it, I might have kissed the little old lady in the window seat who smiled at me as this handsome well dressed man took the middles seat, smiled and said to her “Good stuff.”

I love the Delta Shuttle more than anything I can think of other than some select human beings. In fact, if the Delta Shuttle were a woman, I might have married it instead of Patti. It has its flaws but otherwise has everything I could hope for in an airline and then some. If it were a woman it would be tall, blond, fair skin and light eyes, sweet personality and always surprising me with the small things. And she would be as reliable as my buddy Jay is when it comes to putting back beers. I love the shuttle for everything that it is and for making me sing out loud to the famous James Taylor song but with edited words…

…“How sweet it is to love the Delta Shuttle.”

I had an awful week but getting on before 60 or so other people made my day. Thank you Delta Shuttle, I owe you a drink.

New York City

I have been in NY City this entire week for work. My hotel is near Central Park so I have been running in the morning or evening around the park. Yesterday was the JPMorgan Chase Corporate Challenge, so I had to share with 35,000 other runners. I actually like running in the park. I found a good loop that goes around the reservoir. There are a huge number of others who are running, roller blading, riding bikes or just walking. Central Park really is a pretty park, at least the areas that I have seen. I heard that muggings have gone up, but I doubt anyone would try to take my $20 walkman or beat up Jets shirt I wear, especially with hundreds of other within eyeshot. Plus, who would mess with me, I look menacing and like a killing machine.

Speaking of NY, I have come to the realization that the New York Hilton, while having rundown and beat up rooms, doesn’t employe people who are rude to only me…they are rude to everyone. I have stayed at this hotel before and am amazed at how rude, inconsiderate and uncaring the employees can be. But a colleague who lives in the city made a good point. When I ask a clerk behind the counter if they have a Wall Street Journal that I can have, and he points outside and grunts “Newsstand”, he would have said that to anyone, not just me. And when I asked the concierge person for a running map of Central Park and she points at a kiosk with brochures for tourist attractions and some generic NY City maps, she would have done that to anyone. It’s not personal; it’s just the way they are. I like to believe they are kind, caring and gregarious in their personal life, and working with so many people day in and day out has hardened them.

One other thing that is interesting is that cab drivers are like NASCAR racers only with people in the way, and without the safety equipment, and with a stranger in the backseat, but they never seem to bump each other. They swerve in and out of traffic and across lanes as if they are in perfect unison. It’s like watching a large group of ballerinas perform a complicated piece where everyone knows exactly where they and others are supposed to be. It’s a little frightening as a passenger, and thrilling, but it seems to be safe.

Finally, I am amazed at how little actual earth you can see on the ground. It’s almost like it is on a floating man-made platform in the sky. Aside from an occasional portal that has a tree growing out, almost all of the visible ground at major sections of Manhattan has some sort of cement/brick/asphalt covering. With this is the unbelievable amount of buildings, shops, stores and other commercial space that Manhattan supports. There are thousands of large and small stores to support the millions of residents and commuters who come into the city. It really is an amazing city.

That’s it. Nothing special or insightful. Just thought I’d share.

Oh, there is one other thing. Billy Graham is in town for his final NY City show on Friday. There are some posters up promoting it. Billy Graham in NY City is as far away from a good fit as anything possible. Not hostile, just not real appropriate.

Quick Delta Story

The other day I had a flight and got to the airport in plenty of time. I boarded the plane for a 3:30 scheduled departure. About 10 minutes before we were scheduled to leave the pilot came on and said that an inspection of the plane found that it was hit by lightening and that while not uncommon, this particular hit made a bigger mark than usual. Delta procedure called for a methodical inspection which is a good thing, so he said that the wait would probably be about an hour. Since I had a book to read and they turned on the TVs on the plane, I sat back and relaxed. About 30 minutes later he came on and said they were going to cancel the flight and we all had to get off.

At this point in my story most of the 3 faithful readers of my blog would expect a cynical tale of terrible customer service and horrid examples of why Delta is the devil. But not this time.

I was with a colleague and as we both got off with the 200+ other passengers we heard a gate agent come over the PA in the terminal and told all of us to see a gate agent (at this point about 50 people deep for one person) or to go to a section with a bank of phones and call reservations (about 100 people deep). Always trying to find a shortcut, I just called Delta directly from a pay phone. The phone person said that myself and my colleague were already rebooked on the 7PM flight and that we were all set. Nice. Taking care of us. Good.

We had to kill a couple of hours and the place was a zoo. Not wanting to sit in the terminal and try to find some place to plug our laptops into, I decided to try the Delta Crown Room. I do not have a pass (costs a few hundred dollars) and was not with someone who is a member (then I get in for free). But I thought I would try. After all, I was well dressed and only wanted the quiet work space, not to drink and cause trouble, like I usually do. So we waited in line and when it was our turn to talk to the receptionist person in the Crown Room I walked up and in a very quiet voice said “Our flight was cancelled and we have to kill a couple of hours, do you mind if we work in here for a while?”. The women, also in a quiet tone, said “No problem, go on in, just don’t tell anybody.” Bless this Delta rep for breaking the rules to make me, a very difficult person to please, happy.

So we worked in there, went to the Summer Shack restaurant for dinner and got ignored for a while and finally left, then got on our flight. The Summer Shack story is almost too insignificant to tell. Short version – we sat down and were ignored for about 7 or 10 minutes. While being ignored, another person sat down next to us, a waitress came by, took his drink order, and brought it to him, and we had not even seen a person yet. I got up to ask the hostess to send someone over to us, she turned and said something to another waitress who asked ME what section I was in, like I would somehow know, then I went back to the table to continue being ignored for another 5 or so minutes. At that point we just gave up and left. Who cares, there are 10 other places to get something to eat.

Anyway, while in the Crown Room another Delta person moved our seats on the next flight to good seats in the exit row and gave us meal vouchers. Another example of doing more than was expected and left me feeling good.

We got on our flight, had an uneventful time, then made it to the hotel in Orlando.